There are times in our life, as we grow up where suddenly our parents are more than Mom and Dad. They are real people and they exist outside of us. A few weeks ago, I had one of those moments with my mother as we talked on the phone about expectations.
I knew that my mom had worried about what kind of mother she’d be. Although she has sisters, they are 10-17 years older and my mom essentially grew up an only child on a small farm in Northern Minnesota. To this day, my mom isn’t a very gushy person about babies, puppies or weddings. She doesn’t do baby talk.
A few weeks ago though she offered up completely new information. She hadn’t planned to get married or have children at all. It just happened. And now, she thinks it’s the best thing she did. As I have heard so many times, I do not doubt my mom held my sister and me in her arms and everything changed.
My mom is amazing.
It takes an amazing woman to be an amazing mother.
And it takes a certain sort of amazing to become an “other mother.” A mother who is not your by blood or law. But loves you and cares for you nonetheless.
I’ve had other mothers all my life. Growing up, the other moms in the neighborhood would take us places and feed us. One did my hair for school pictures. We freely addressed them by first name, and on my street it really did take a village.
My friend E’s mom became a second mother to me in high school. One night she got out of bed to talk to me about my fears and relieve them.
Right now, I have the ultimate other mother in Best Friend’s mom. I’ve often said that my best friend is family to me. We’re like sisters. Her family is like mine.
I’m regularly invited to dinner. I got an Easter basket last spring. They’ve taken me on trips. A few weeks ago I got a phone call from my other mother telling me she had a suprise for me.
But it’s more than that. My other mother loves me like a daughter and treats me like a daughter. She is the head of an equally amazing family who treat me like one of them every day. She’s got so much love and such a big heart, that she let me in.
I have another family in my life who also have chosen to let me in. Nobody made them, nobody required it; everybody benefits. I have a little more love in my life.
Today is my other mother’s birthday. Happy Birthday to her.
*I thought that just maybe, today I would post something more than a picture, a video link, or a quote, no matter how entertaining they actually were, I feel that the 20 or so of you still reading me deserve more than that.
Original MOM
When you see your Chicago mom please give her a hug from me and tell her I said “Happy Birthday”.
This was also G & G’s Wedding Anniversary. A very good day I would say.
Comment by Anonymous — November 1, 2006 @ 9:22 pm
What a blessing – both mom and other mother! : ) You are a lucky gal.
Comment by Tricia — November 1, 2006 @ 9:56 pm
this is SO sweet! it made me cry. other mother is wonderful!
Comment by Marissa — November 2, 2006 @ 3:55 am
What a beautiful, moving entry, Cheryl. Thank you!
We may see a lot of cattiness among our female peers, but women are inherently nurturing and supportive. I love your stories of the neighborhood moms from your youth. Someday us twentysomethings will be able to play that role to Goddaughters and nieces and neighbor girls.
Comment by Christina — November 2, 2006 @ 4:39 am
I have what a we call “plastic grandma’” – not quite the real thing, but working just as good… see, my Grams lives across the wide ocean, and I don’t get to see her that much, so one of her friends has “adopted” me… there’s nothing like fresh baked cinabuns and a cup of hot coffee at the plastic grandma’s table!
Comment by Heart Of Darkness — November 2, 2006 @ 7:02 pm
I have an other father that I feel the same about.
Comment by Woodrow — November 2, 2006 @ 7:25 pm
beautiful post. i’m sure she feels equally blessed to have you as other daughter.
Comment by Anisa — November 3, 2006 @ 3:20 am